Please Dean, Remember
by C.J Todd
Summary: Cas and Dean fell in love while the angel was rebuilding him and restoring his soul but once Dean surfaced on earth he didn't remember any of it and Cas has been subtly trying to remind him ever since.


**Based off this Tumblr post:**

**gracestiel:**

**agarlandoffreshlycuttears:**

**gracestiel:**

**headcanon: Cas and Dean fell in love while the angel was rebuilding him and restoring his soul but once Dean surfaced on earth he didn't remember any of it and Cas has been subtly trying to remind him ever since**

**This actually made me cry a little bit**

**like that's why Cas stands too close and is always staring at him, willing Dean to remember.**

* * *

Hell was as most people would assume…was hell. Burning, screaming, blood, and pain were abundant. The smell of sulfur, burning flesh, and decay flooded the nostrils to the point of sick intoxication. Castiel followed alongside the legions of his siblings into the horrid place. They were given the mission to retrieve The Righteous Man. Castiel did now know much, for he was just a simple foot soldier.

He was simply given the order, as his brethren were, to save The Righteous Man from the deep horrid pits of hell. His commander Raguel lead them into battle against the demons. When Castiel had been but a fledgling, Raguel had watched over the young ones. He had been so loving and kind, yet with a firm hand. Now he struck down the vicious demons with slashes of his mighty sword.

The heavenly host's radiating light illuminated the darkness causing some of the lesser demons to crawl back into the holes from which they came. Others did not go down so easily. The abominable sinful creatures fought shamelessly. They used even the most villainous of tricks to avoid fighting the angels head on.

When they did they fought like animals clawing, biting, growling, and screeching blasphemous words. Castiel was disgusted by them. He wanted nothing more than to return to beautiful heaven. Where it was light and where there was no pain. He never wanted his sight to be stained with the memory of the horrid creatures ever again, but he had to tread on.

Another angel, Laoth, flew to his side. He spoke in Enochian, "Our siblings Heman, Dumah, Kuetiel, and Qauspiel are no more. I fought with them and now they are all dead, so many are dying Castiel."

Castiel replied, "It is true, but Brother we must continue. We cannot fail. We must save The Righteous Man. He had been in this atrocious place for nearly 30 hell years. "

Laoth's powerful wings flapped faster as he pulled Castiel along, "I know Brother, I know well. Then we must hurry Little Brother. We must retrieve him."

They flew as their brothers and sisters fought. Castiel tried not to think about the cries he heard when a younger angel would fall into the clutches of a demon. They would scream to their brethren, to their father, to any who would hear. Not everyone went down valiantly. Castiel could feel one after the other; the graces of his siblings simply going out like a candle. Laoth had always been a master at evading and thwarting demons. It was what he was known for. It was very useful here.

Castiel could not understand why Laoth had insisted for him to accompany him. The group Laoth had been fighting in had been destroyed, but why did he simply not join another? Laoth was a respected and noble soldier; a far more powerful angel than the young Castiel. Castiel decided not to question it. He instead pushed himself to fly faster. His abnormally large wings had come in handy. He recalled being told as a fledgling that he would be a great flier one day. He could not recall who it was who told him so.

The deeper they went the fewer demons there were. It was odd. Laoth continued on, so Castiel did as well. His wings were in agony, it felt as if his feathers were being painfully plucked and slowly burned. He wanted to stop and rest, but he could not. Laoth's hand held to Castiel's arm as the two soared deeper into hell.

Castiel heard a foul voice cackle, "Oh Dean. Your Daddy-kins held out for a century. How disappointed do you think he will he be? Of course you meant so little to him anyway. You were just an instrument that's all. It's good to see you're still being put to good use."

Laoth turned to Castiel, "The tortured had become the torturer…"

Castiel watched as The Righteous Man, Dean Winchester, carved into the flesh of a soul bound to hell. Dean Winchester had been taken off the rack, but only on the condition he now torture as well. Castiel saw the pain and damage that poor soul had endured. It was stoic and dissolute that poor wayward soul. The scars were ones that would not easily heal; never would they fully go away. It was a pitiful sight, yet for some odd reason Castiel did not feel pity.

How was it that soul shined like a beautiful beacon? So weak, yet so powerful. How could there possibly be a human man as marvelous as this? If Castiel had not known any better he would have mistaken him for one of the heavenly host. A human soul that could rival and angel's grace.

Laoth shook him from his trance. He whispered, "Brother, you must do exactly as I say. No matter what occurs you must follow my orders. Do you understand?"

Castiel replied, "Of course. I have faith you shall save The Righteous Man."

Laoth placed his forehead on his brother's and brushed the tips of his wings to Castiel's. It was a fairly intimate gesture usually reserved for the closest of the angelic siblings; not between a noble warrior who greatly outranked the young angel. Under the circumstances Castiel supposed it was fine. The two shot down into the pit together.

Alastair laughed when he saw the angels enter. They were in his domain. Such weak little things wouldn't last long. His villainous grin fell from his face when Laoth flew straight at him. The two fell into a heap of slashing, scratching, swearing, and flapping wings. Laoth shouted above all the other noise, "CASTIEL, YOU MUST SAVE THE RIGHTEOUS MAN!"

Castiel tore his gaze from his fighting brother to The Righteous Man. He could not abandon his brother to Alastair, one of the most horrendous demons in hell, but he had promised he would follow his order no matter what it may be.

Laoth yelled, "DO IT CASTIEL, DO NOT FAIL! I BELIEVE IN YOU!"

Castiel had his resolve. He swopped down and placed his hand on The Righteous Man's shoulder. Dean was nearly blinded by the entity that touched him. It was radiant and beautiful. What was it doing here in Hell? It spoke to him, "Dean Winchester, You do not belong to here. I am here to save you. Come with me and I shall restore you before you return to Earth."

Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing. The stunning creature was here to save him. Why him? His gaze fell on his work that lay before him. He was horrified. He did not deserve to be saved. Not when he had done something as atrocious as he had done. He had tortured souls, and he had enjoyed it.

Anything was better than having to endure Alastair's torment. He always managed to find a way to fuck things up. He cried out to the celestial being, "NO, I belong here! I don't deserve to go back! I deserve to rot here!" His bare soul did not possess the walls it did on Earth. There was no body with its defense mechanisms; only his bared naked soul.

Castiel attempted to lift Dean Winchester, but the man fought him. He hit, kicked, clawed and bite. All the while as he thrashed he wailed. He began to cry for his mother, father, for his brother, for the being that stood before him to leave him be. Castiel could not comply with him.

Laoth had put his faith in him. He gripped the Righteous man and as his grace surged he flew upwards. His wings were burning and he knew it. Dean Winchester did not fight him anymore, but he sobbed and wailed. Castiel could only cradle the soul close to him as a comfort. He surged upward with every flap of his strong aching wings. He heard shouts, "The Righteous Man he has been saved! Retreat to heaven!"

He could not spare a moment to see which of his brethren had not been lost in battle, nor could be celebrate. His only concern of the time was carrying Dean Winchester out of Hell. The rancid air was gone with a final surge of his grace. He was back on Earth with Dean Winchester's soul in his arms.

He was silent and clung to Castiel. Laoth had not been behind Castiel, but Castiel could not take the time to mourn. He flew to the place where Dean Winchester's body was. Uriel was waiting there with a few other angels. Castiel felt that perhaps it might have been better if Laoth had been there. Uriel and Castiel had a few disagreements when they were young, but he would have to put that aside.

Upon seeing Castiel Uriel questioned, "So it was you Castiel who pulled The Righteous Man from Hell? I am impressed. I assumed an older warrior would be the one to accomplish such a feat."

Castiel answered, "I would not have been able to if Laoth had not gone up against the demon Alastair." Dean shuddered at the very name, "Many of our brothers and sisters died in battle. We had not expected to lose so many, but The Righteous Man has been saved."

Uriel only spared The Righteous Man a quick look. He had much more important matters to attend to. He ordered, "You are to repair him. Do you wish for any other angels to accompany you?"

Castiel felt Dean's apprehension around the other angels. He didn't want Dean to endure any more than he already had. He wanted peace for the scarred soul, yet he knew Dean's work on Earth was not done. It was why God commanded he be saved. Castiel said, "I will rebuild and restore The Righteous Man on my own."

Uriel shrugged, a very human gesture, if Castiel wanted to go through the trouble he wouldn't stop him. He flew back to heaven with the other angels following behind. Dean relaxed slightly now that he was alone with his savior. He had been so reluctant to leave Hell that he had not even taken the angelic being into account that the being holding him, as if he were a precious thing, was in fact his savior. Dean asked, "Who are you?"

Castiel smiled, "I am Castiel an angel of the Lord. I am the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition."

Dean curled up closer to the angel, "Thank you. I'm sorry for fighting you back there. I'm sorry you had to see what I did. I'm sorry, but I deserved to be there. Why did you save someone like me?"

Castiel gently caressed the soul. Dean flinched, but he did not pull away, "Dean Winchester you are a righteous man. God had plans for you I am sure. God commanded that the heavenly host fight our way through hell to save you, but upon meeting you now I know my orders were correct. If there is any man that deserved to be saved from the horrors of Hell it is you. You are exquisite, fascinating, and valorous: You could be on level with any angel in all of heaven. When I first saw your soul if I hadn't known it was you I might have mistaken it for an angel's grace. You are indeed righteous"

Dean moaned, "Don't lie. I'm weak, horrible, a coward. I broke…I tortured those souls."

Castiel soothed him with his grace, transferring good feeling and hope into his soul. It would take time not only for him to rebuild his body, but repair his soul. It was not broken, but it was wounded, tired, scared, and with little will to live. He would need to help Dean heal. He didn't want to go too far from Dean's body, but he needed to be in a safe place with Dean's soul. He considered Jimmy Novak. His vessel was ready and waiting, but he decided to let the human be. He had not been on Earth for a very long time, but he knew nearby a few miles away there was a house that was vacant. He was gone in a blink of an eye.

* * *

A soul without a body is somewhat like an apparition, but at the same time not like one. An apparition is a shadow of what it once was in its life. Usually tied to the Earth for a number of different reasons like vengeance or fear of what lies ahead. Dean was a soul, not dead but not alive, simply a soul without a host to contain it. Threadbare and scarred it was defenseless and vulnerable against any who wished to cause it harm, which was why Castiel kept him close, slowly using his grace to heal the wounds and atrocities that lay on his soul. Dean was weary and he did not protest to it. He was strong willed and intrepid, but even the strongest of men can only endure so much alone.

Dean would occasionally take the time to just stare at his savior. The one who told him he deserved to be saved. The one who worked hard to heal his wounds. He was grateful; he could not ever repay the angel. There was just no way he could ever do something as amazing as when the gallant angel had rescued him from hell. The angel glowed, glowed a mixture of shining white lights with clinquant gold. Piercing blue eyes shown from the figure of light, and Dean could not tear his eyes from them.

He felt he couldn't possibly deserve to ever in his lifetime lay his eyes upon such a marvelous creature. The angel's wings were large, strong, they looked like the feather had been charred and smoke still rose from them, but Dean thought they were elegant and stunning. Castiel noticed Dean staring at him. He said, "Hell had caused much damage to my wings; damage that cannot be undone. Feel no guilt, for though they are hideous now it is a reminder of what I have done in the barrage into hell."

Dean viciously shook his head, "No no no they're not hideous. They're beautiful. They're really awesome!"

Castiel felt a laugh rise. He had heard human speech was odd for he was not accustomed to the word 'awesome', but he knew what beautiful meant. "I suppose both of us are beautiful then. I shall heal you the best I can. Then I shall rebuild your body, and you will return to the living."

Dean's soul shimmered, "Thank you Castiel. I don't really have much to return to because nearly all my family and friends are dead except for my little brother. I had one job and I screwed it up. I always let people down. My one job was to always protect Sammy, and he ended up dead, so I sold my soul to save him."

"Your self-sacrifice is heroic. Not many would go that far even for their kin. You are not a 'screw up' I see you to your very core you cannot hide anything from me. I shall never leave you Dean. How could I leave such a brilliantly beautiful soul such as yourself?"

"I don't suppose you're the type to offer up flattery easily huh Cas?"

Castiel tilted his head, "Cas?"

Dean laughed, "Yeah, your name is Castiel. Cas is a shortened version, like nickname."

"A nickname is like a term of endearment. Am I correct?"

If Dean were in his body he would laugh and brush Castiel's question aside, but he was not. Instead he grinned at the angel, "Yes it is. You have become something I endear you saved me."

Castiel smiled tenderly at the soul he held. Dean Winchester, The Righteous Man, felt endearment towards the young angel Castiel. The feeling coursed through him. How long had it been since he had felt these feelings. Feeling usually reserved for Father, for his brothers and sisters, never had he felt this way towards a mere human. What did it mean? Even with centuries of knowledge at his disposal Castiel did not know.

Over time Castiel would tell Dean stories about his heavenly siblings from when he was a fledgling as he healed Dean. In return Dean would tell him about his life on Earth, his absent father, and he always spoke of his younger brother. Never an ill word only praise. Castiel tried his best to understand the magnitude of the bond the two brothers shared. There were times when their time spent together was not great like when Dean would be thrown into a fit believing himself to still be in hell.

As always Castiel would offer him comfort. He would use his grace to cradle that soul, guarding him with his wings; he would softly kiss away every pain that plagued the Winchester. He could easily wash it away with a flick of his hand, but no. He enjoyed being affectionate to Dean. Dean welcomed the amity. It was a far cry from the cold yet burning fear and hatred that surged in Hell. If anyone was allowed to see him at his lowest and to not show him pity but give him devotion it would be Castiel.

Every tear, every insecurity, every painful memory Castiel would sooth with hushed words of tenderness, affection, and adulation. Dean's soul clung to Castiel's grace; not letting go since they first touched in hell. It was safe, secure, and warm. He tells Dean he shall never ever leave him. He tells him that he loves him: a love above all of humanity, a love on level with that of his love for God.

Castiel knows such a thing is almost blasphemous, but he cannot deny it. He cannot betray the trust he built with that righteous soul. Dean's soul cries out for him to always love him and he shall do the same. He has no trouble at all making his intentions clear. He screams it to the heavens that he loves Castiel, that his love is unyielding, that he shall always love his beloved Castiel.

Dean's soul grows brighter and brighter with each passing day. Open wounds turn to scars and malice leaves. Dean's soul is stronger now, and although it will never be as it once was it still has hope. Castiel took Dean with him back to the spot where he was buried. Dean watched as Castiel worked atom after atom, cell by cell, every drop of blood. It hurt Dean seeing the state of his body knowing Sammy and Bobby has to bury him. He supposed they hadn't salted and burned him because they believed they might find a way to bring him back. Their struggle would be over soon; he'd be back with them soon enough.

Castiel had finished up with the body molding it as it had once been; there were just the clothes to add. Dean had no problem with him seeing everything: one because his soul didn't experience embarrassment, and two he wasn't inside the body so it didn't count. Castiel just might have made his eyes a brighter shade of green when Dean wasn't looking, but Dean had seen him add a number of freckles to his face and shoulders. He couldn't be angry it was like an artist signing their work. The body of Dean Winchester created from Mary and John Winchester, grown, destroyed, than rebuilt again by Castiel.

When he finished Castiel hovered over the grave holding Dean. Dean murmured, "Cas I'm scared. What happens after I get back in there? What if I don't get out, and I die again?"

Castiel said, "Do not fret. Once you return to your body you will regain consciousness and be able to return to your brother."

"What about you Cas? You're not going to leave me after I get back into my meat-suit are you?"

Castiel chuckled. Dean always had such strange names for things. "Dean I shall continue to watch over you. I will attempt to contact you, if I cannot in my true form I will try again while in my vessel. I have promised you before I will not leave. I shall never abandon you."

Dean's soul brightened, "That's good. You know I have about the same amount of abandonment issues as twelve orphans."

Dean looked from his grave containing his body, then back to Castiel. His grace was almost blinding, but he loved it. He and Castiel had an eternal bond. He hadn't expected to fall so deeply in love with his angel, but he had and there was no going back. He chastely kissed him then gazed into the cerulean pools of blue, "I love you. See ya when I'm topside."

"I love you Dean Winchester."

Castiel pushed Dean's soul back into his body. It would take a bit before it settled, so he flew back to heaven to report to Uriel.

When Castiel entered heaven Uriel whistled, "That took some time didn't it? I thought it would be fairly easy to put a body back together."

Castiel answered, "It was not the body that was difficult. I had to also heal his soul the best I could. He shall be awakening on Earth soon. I came to notify you of this. If I may I shall return to Earth."

Uriel laughed, "Eager are we? Yes, go to Earth. Tell him that God commanded he be saved and that we have work for him."

* * *

Castiel watched as Dean walked into a gas station. Dean was probably getting used to being back among the living, and Castiel wanted nothing more than to approach him. He had promised Dean he would be there once he was resurrected, so he called out to him. The windows shattered at the sound of his true voice. Dean covered his ears kneeling over in pain. He could hear no voice only a loud piercing sound. It puzzled Castiel. Perhaps Dean just needed time to adjust.

Dean was reunited with his brother. Castiel kept his distance. A woman attempted a séance to learn more about Castiel. He told her his name, but he warned her of the consequences that might occur if she try and see his true form. She didn't listen.

Castiel tries once again to speak to Dean when he is alone in a motel room in Pontiac. Once again his voice shattered all the glass. He realizes Dean is not able to hear his true voice no longer, and he stops once Dean's ears begin to bleed.

Dean along with another older man covered an abandon warehouse with protective sigils and symbols none of them can do anything against an angel. They attempted to summon him. He does not work, so he goes to the place in his vessel. The lights blow out in his presence as he adjusts to being contained in his vessel. Dean does not appear to be very happy. Why might Dean be angry with him? Dean and the man shot Castiel with bullets composed of salt which of course have no effect.

Castiel is pleased to see that Dean is well. Dean on the other hand looks very guarded, ready to attack, and not pleased in the slightest. Dean asked, "Who are you?"

Castiel replied calmly, "I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition."

Dean said, "Yeah, thanks for that." Then thrust a demon killing blade into his chest. Castiel finds it a tad annoying. He takes it out and drops it to the floor. The older man goes to hit Castiel with a pipe, and Castiel stopped it with one hand. He doesn't want the older man to interfere anymore. He placed two fingers to the man's head, and the man falls into unconsciousness.

He said, "We need to talk Dean. Alone."

Dean goes straight to the man's side. Castiel reassures him, "Your friend's alive."

Dean asked, "Who are you?"

"Castiel."

"Yeah I figured that much. I mean what are you?"

He answered, "I'm an angel of the lord."

Castiel stared at Dean. Dean had attacked him, and he had not known who Castiel was, or what he had done. Did he really not remember? Castiel had pulled him from hell, healed him, rebuilt him, and loved him. Dean had said he loved Castiel, yet now he did not even know he was an angel. Castiel felt as if his grace had begun to simmer. How could he not remember!

Dean said, "Get the hell out of here. There's no such thing."

Castiel wanted Dean. His sweet and precious Dean; the ravaged soul that he cared for. The one who told him stories about his younger brother's first day of school. He was irritated. Dean didn't remember. He hadn't counted on Dean not remembering. What was he to do know?"

"This is your problem Dean. You have no faith."

To convince Dean he was indeed an angel he showed him shadows of his wings. Thunder roared outside and lightning struck through the sky. Dean had at one time seen his true wings. He had called them beautiful.

Dean commented, "Some angel you are. You burned out that poor woman's eyes."

"I warned her not to spy on my true form. It can be… overwhelming to humans. So can my real voice. You already knew that."

"You mean the gas station and the motel. That was you talking?"

Castiel nodded

Dean said, "Buddy, next time lower the volume."

"It was my mistake. Certain people, special people, can perceive my true visage. I thought you would be one of them. I was wrong."

Dean's voice was a tad spiteful when he asked, "And what visage are you in now? What holy tax accountant?"

Castiel examined his slightly damaged vessel, "This? This is a vessel."

"You're possessing some poor bastard?"

"He's a devout man. He actually prayed for this."

Dean shook his head, "Look Pal I'm not buying what you're selling, so who are you really?"

Castiel's brows furrowed slightly and he tilted his head. He gazed at Dean's soul. It was the same as it had been when he pushed it back into its body. Now Dean stood before him. Why did he not remember? Dean's soul lay hidden beneath a steely gaze of green, once looking at Castiel with nothing but fondness, now looked at him with suspicion and distrust. Castiel's grace ached underneath it. Dean didn't understand. He didn't remember.

"I told you."

Dean clicked his tongue and demanded, "Right, and why would an angel rescue me from hell?"

Castiel had already been over this with Dean, but there was no use trying to explain that.

He walked closer to Dean, "Good things do happen Dean."

Dean said, "Not in my experience."

Castiel tilted his head as he searched in Dean's eyes, "What's the matter?" The realization came to his, after the many nights he had spent holding Dean close to him as he sobbed over his crimes in hell, "You don't think you deserve to be saved?"

Dean's mouth twitched into a dry smirk, "Why'd you do it?"

Castiel burned. He wanted to scream at Dean to beg him to remember. His grace threatened to burn through his skin if he did not remain calm. He wanted to grab Dean and pull him close as he had done. He wanted to beg him to try and remember, but he couldn't. Castiel had a mission. He had to follow his orders.

He gave Dean the reply he had received from Uriel, "Because God commanded it; because we have work for you."

Castiel can now only associate with Dean when it involved the seals or Lilith. Dean tells him all the time that he needs to learn personal space; he had never had a problem with Castiel being close to him before. Dean's brother, Sam, showed much more respect than Dean himself did. The boy with the demon blood had stopped using his powers and that was good to say the least. Castiel began to have doubts about his orders and the plan from heaven.

Somehow Dean and Sam end up being associated with the abomination Anna. She fell and Uriel had declared she had to be destroyed. He had watched Anna kiss Dean. He did not feel jealously, for he was above envy, and Anna did not share the same connection he and Dean did. Yet it reminded him of the short kiss they had shared. He tried not to dwell on those memories. He goes up against Alastair; surely that would make Dean remember. It doesn't.

They need Dean to break Alastair, but Dean protested. Uriel left so Dean and Castiel can speak alone. Dean begs, "You can't ask me to do this, Cas. Not this."

He called him Cas. He remembers! He called Castiel Cas! Castiel looks into Dean's eyes for any other sign that he remembers. There is none, but Dean calling him Cas gave him the hope that he had lost. Castiel explains to Dean that Uriel is watching him because he is getting too emotionally involved. If only Dean knew to what scale. Castiel does not want him to endure Alastair again, but they need him to. Uriel wants Lucifer to rise. Anna tries to recruit Castiel. He does not know where to turn. The road gets rougher, people die, angels die, and Castiel could not abandon Dean. He promised.

* * *

_"I would give anything not to have you do this."_

_"I learned my lesson while I was away, Dean. I serve Heaven, I don't serve man. And I certainly don't serve you."_

_"What is worth saving?! I see nothing but pain here. I see inside you. I see your guilt, your anger, confusion... In Paradise all is forgiven. You'll be at peace. Even with Sam."_

_"My superiors have decided I've become too close the humans in my charge. You."_

_"I disobeyed so you wouldn't go to them!"_

_"Dean and I do share a more profound bond. I wasn't going to mention it."_

_"We've been through much together you and I. _

_"We're making it up as we go"_

"_I killed two angels this week. My brothers. I'm hunted. I rebelled and I did it - all of it - for you. And you failed. You and your brother destroyed the world. And I lost everything - for nothing. So keep your opinions to yourself."_

_"I thought you said that we were like family. I believe that too."_

_"I do everything you ask. I always come when you call and I am your friend. Still despite your lack of faith in me and now your threats I just saved you yet again. Has anyone but your closest kin ever done more for you?"_

_"I have a price on my head. I've been trying to stay one step ahead of them to keep them away from you."_

_"Thank you, for everything."_

"_You see he had this weakness. He likes you_

_"You must've mistaken me for another angel the one in the dirty trench coat that's in love with you?"_

_"When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell he was lost!"_

_"Ask him, he was your boyfriend first!"_

_"Don't ever change."_

_"So what, I'm Thelma and you're Louise and we're just gonna hold hands and drive off this cliff together?"_

_"Sorry but I'd rather have you cursed or not."_

_"Don't make me lose you too."_

_"We were family once I'd have died for you."_

_"I prayed to you Cas, every night!"_

_"Let me bottom line it for you. I'm not leaving here without you!"_

_"You made an exception for me."_

_"Cas, I know you're in there. I know you can hear me. Cas, it's me. We're family. We need you. I need you."_

* * *

The apocalypse, Gabriel, Castiel turning against his brethren, the civil war in heaven, Raphael, The Leviathan, Purgatory: Castiel made so many mistakes. Both Dean and Sam became his only friends. Then they became family. There were times when Castiel had seen the Dean he had protected when he was but a vulnerable soul. They had good times, and many bad times as well. Castiel only wanted to have Dean's trust, Dean's approval, and Dean's praise. What else could he hope for? His brethren were against him, his father supposedly gone, and time after time he did whatever he could for Dean.

He loved him, he loved him, he loved him, and he loved him. He never once stopped loving him. Keeping close like when he had held Dean's soul to his chest. Castiel would stare intently into Dean's eyes watching that beautiful soul that lay hidden beneath the suffering, stoicism, jokes, apathy, and complete disregard for feelings.

When they were in Purgatory Dean had grinned and hugged Castiel when he found him. He had not wanted to be found. It was the only way to protect Dean; to keep the leviathan away from him. Dean wouldn't have him staying there, but Castiel needed to repent for his sins. He might never regain Dean's forgiveness, yet Dean forgave him anyway.

Then Metatron took his grace. He was left human, and Dean kicked him out of the bunker. All the human emotions were overwhelming. Betrayal, hurt, anger, fear: it all new for Castiel and Castiel had hoped for guidance from the Winchesters. He still loves him. Perhaps one day Dean might remember. He would wait. The soul that he pulled from hell, healed, rebuilt, and loved unconditionally. Dean Winchester.

* * *

**My heart hurt after writing this...**

**I may add a second chapter with a happy end, but that depends on whether you want it or not.**


End file.
